Photo of the Week

There was no question this week as to what picture we were going to choose. Our cleft home nannies are so amazing. As you can see in this photo of our little Lyn with her nanny, there is a true sense of love and connectedness that exists between the two. We just loved how this was captured in this beautiful photo. Our nannies go above and beyond the call of duty and truly love and care for "our babies" as if they were their very own. We are just so grateful for them all and the role they play in each babies' story of hope and healing!

How Do Your Kids Play?

A friend shared a blog this morning about the importance of unstructured play by the Grass Stain Guru through this link. At first, the blog caught my eye, because the picture at the top reminded me of my visits to China. With that thought in the back of my mind, I read the blog and reflected on the difference between the way we are raising our children and the way the children in our rural foster care homes are being raised.

My children have toys, video games, and activities to fill their days….the children in our rural Chinese foster homes have very little toys bought at a store. I have often thought about how creative these children are in these homes, because even though they don’t have a lot of material things, they are always playing and laughing when I have visited. They are happy and I am in awe of their inventiveness. So many things become their play.

The author of this blog writes that “Unstructured play teaches creativity, independence, problem solving, communication skills, risk assessment, negotiation skills, a host of social concepts, and adaptability. The list goes on and on.”

So this has me thinking….are we doing our children a disservice with all we do for them? How do we change the way we are raising our children and slow down, so that there is more time for creative play? In the end, will the children who have so many “things”, so many activities, and so much structure, be ultimately less creative than a child that has had to invent more of their play?

Thank You to ALL Our Volunteers.

Today marks the start of National Volunteer Week, and for those of us at LWB, that is a big week to celebrate as most people know that we are a volunteer run organization. When we first started LWB, we honestly were hoping that we could help a handful of kids a year. Of course, as we have watched LWB grow into the foundation it is today, touching over 1500 children a year, our volunteer model has had to grow as well. Having an all virtual office, with no two workers in the same location, has not been without it challenges. But it has been amazing to watch the energy and passion that people bring to helping children when they are allowed to work from their homes or offices, whether they can give an hour a week or volunteer full time.

We recently started a weekly “meet our volunteers’ email that goes out to the LWB team, and I have to admit to looking forward to that weekly letter with great anticipation. While I don’t get to meet in person all of the people who are helping LWB change lives, I love meeting them in my heart by reading about their commitment to children in need. We now have over 100 volunteers living in 36 US states, Spain, Wales, UK, Ireland, Guam, China, Canada, Australia and Holland. If that doesn’t sum up “Love Without Boundaries”, then I don’t know what does!

Sherry Anderson once said, “Volunteers don't get paid, not because they're worthless, but because they're priceless.” I couldn’t agree with her more. Our work wouldn’t happen without our dedicated volunteers, and so from the bottom of my heart I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has so generously given their time to LWB. You have brought hope and healing to so many children each and every day, and that is truly a reason to celebrate this week.

Amy Eldridge

Do you have extra time to give to help children in need? You can fill out a volunteer application here.

Believe In Me-Jinjiang

Our photo of the week is courtesy of our Believe in Me School in Jinjiang. Our newest class meets for half a day. This is photo is from our two year old class and it's easy to see how much fun they are having as they experience new activities. They are ready to learn!

Fewer Children for Adoption?

Yesterday I read an online article from CNN that carried the headline: Fewer children up for adoption in China. You can read the article at this link.

While generally an accurate story that fewer Americans are finalizing adoptions each year from China, I couldn't help but finish the article with a feeling of frustration. The reality is that there are thousands of children who need homes from China who have a special need, and those of us who follow adoption agency lists know that every month far too many children's files go back to China "unchosen". I read posts online all the time from parents who have seen a child's file or picture with an agency and who then plead for someone to please consider adopting that child before they lose their chance. That part of the story isn't often communicated publicly to the world.

I think one of the reasons that more and more children on waiting children lists do not find families is because of the growing feeling that China is no longer a good option for international adoption. While it is true that adoption through the non special needs path has slowed to 5 years, the special needs path to adoption is still a wonderful way to form a family, often in under a year. I am writing this, of course, as a mom who knows that calling the non special needs path the "healthy" path to adoption isn't always accurate. My son TJ, adopted through the waiting child path due to a limb difference, is as healthy as a horse and hasn't been sick in years.

I think the thing that bothers me the most with articles such as the one above is that they portray special needs adoption as a second choice. I wish more national newspapers and media outlets would promote special needs adoption for exactly what it is....a wonderful choice which blesses both the child and the parents. There are so many great children on waiting child lists who are waiting to be chosen TODAY. Perhaps if that positive message was communicated better through the media, we wouldn't have to hear yet again, "the child's file was sent back without finding a family. "

What are your thoughts?

Amy

Searching

My daughter Anna had her feelings hurt in school the other day, and it has resulted in some very open talks again about her adoption. One of her friends innocently asked her why her ‘real’ parents couldn’t keep her. Anna is very knowledgeable about China and orphans, of course, since I work for LWB, and so she answered the question in a very good way (in this mom’s opinion). She explained that China has a one-child policy and so she said that perhaps her parents already had a child, or perhaps they didn’t have a registration certificate to have a child that year. One little girl then said in a mean way, “or perhaps your parents just didn’t like you.”

Ouch.

So this week Anna and I have again been discussing her birthparents, and I have tried to reassure her that if they could see her now, they would be so taken with the beautiful, confident, amazing young lady she has become. At the end of our last talk, I told Anna how much I wished I could find them for her. I told her I would do anything to give her that missing part of her heart. And after she left the room, I asked myself, “WOULD I do anything?”

Many of you might have seen the Swedish documentary that profiled a couple who had searched and found their child’s birthparents. I will never forget how hard the birthfather was crying when he saw his daughter by videotape and told the story of why they abandoned her. Obviously in some cases, it IS possible to locate them. We’ve all heard the occasional rare story.

Why do you think more people aren’t actively searching? Do you feel that it is a decision that the child should make on their own when they are older, or is it something that an adoptive parent should attempt even if the child isn’t old enough to fully understand the ramifications? Now that domestic adoption is increasing so rapidly in China, do you think that more and more children there will start asking these same questions? I have to wonder if we will see private investigation firms that specialize in finding birthparents begin opening as more and more adoptees reach an age where they want to know their history. What do you think?

Amy

Gratitude and the New Normal

I’m enjoying my morning with my laptop (the new morning newspaper?), a cup of coffee, and my daughter’s favorite shows on the television when I came across a blog entry titled Do Over. The author writes about her husband Chris losing his job, finding a job herself, and trying to stay positive through the experience. Eventually, the effort to stay positive wore thin and worry slowly crept in. After the worst year she and her husband had ever experienced, the next year was even more difficult. She writes:

If only I had known that was only the beginning.

The beginning of our new "normal". A normal that brings with it daily worries about things I once took for granted as easily as the air I breathed. Things like medical insurance and being a stay at home mom. Things like full tanks of gas and a kitchen full of groceries and a husband that doesn't get sent home during the day because "there's just no work".

I think there are so many of us who are either experiencing this situation or fearing it. How would we make it if my husband lost his job? With seven children and a mortgage, just living is expensive. Without a doubt, one of the best things in my life is making a difference for children through my volunteer work with LWB. Would I be able to continue if life became too difficult financially? It’s something I would have to consider. Could I find a way to make life better for children in need, no matter what our financial circumstances? What motivates me to make a difference?

But, here is the conclusion of the blog and this is what really caught my attention. The “new normal” might have an important upside that I hadn’t yet considered:

Without the last two years I wouldn't have learned to prioritize, to improvise. I wouldn't have learned what I'm made of. I wouldn't have learned that I can rise to the occasion.

Most of all, I wouldn't have learned how to be truly, truly, overwhelmingly appreciative when Chris learned this morning that he got the job.

Gratitude. Yes, I am more grateful for things than I used to be. I’m grateful I can keep seven children fed and happy. I’m grateful my husband has the job we depend on. I’m grateful we can make our mortgage payments. Maybe this is the whole point of the “new normal?”

In realizing my blessings, I’m also grateful that I can make a difference in the world – and I hope that it isn’t something that comes from the largess of my family’s finances, but from the largess of my heart. Is gratitude the crucial component of giving back, paying it forward so to speak? And if gratitude grows stronger in tough times, then does the inspiration to make a difference kindle stronger, too?

Debbie Smith

Public Relations Director